3 Lessons I Learned From the Older Generation

Over the weekend, I volunteered at an elderly care home. What I didn’t expect was how much benefit there would be in it.. not just them, but for me. 

In life – and especially being from London, generally a privileged place to be (although with its own drawbacks) – there have been some standout moments in my life that were significant in making me feel humbled and appreciative for what I’ve got. And writing them down has also become a useful reminder when I can sense myself feeling like ‘everything is going against me‘ – which I’m sure many can relate to. 

The most recent addition to my list of appreciative moments was this weekend at the care home.

There was the expected feeling of gratitude for helping those who now need it, and seeing how thankful they were for all the little things you did for them.

But what will stay with me is something else.. 

It’s what I took from being able to sit and listen to them tell me the stories of their life: where they’ve been, what they’d done, and what means the most to them now. This wasn’t just a few hours on the weekend, this was life-long lessons & realisations, told by those who’ve lived moments I never will. It left me a lot I took from it – here’s just a few:

– People have done and witnessed some incredible things.:Many residents now need someone to look after, feed, or even bathe them. But these same people once played as drummer for The Police (the rock band), designed helicopters for the Royal Military, or toured the world playing the saxophone, and even played in front of the Queen. You’ll never know what you could learn about the people around you (even within your own family) until you take the time and interest to ask.

– Don’t let those small things get you down. It doesn’t mean you’re immune to when ‘sh*t happens’ – but you can stop them bringing you down as much. Everyone I spoke to recalled the ‘good times’ and their proudest moments, and it’s what still keeps a lot of them going. The lady in the picture was the biggest inspiration. I’d never have known she’d been suffering with Parkinson’s for 6 years unless she’d mentioned. The doctors even said her condition should be much worse. But her strong belief in her faith, love for her family, and not reflecting on the negatives she’s been through, are why she’s managed to keep healthy. The things that get you down take up time you could use to feel good.

– Don’t do things you don’t enjoy. Sometimes you have no choice, but a lot of the time you do: the residents only spoke about what brought them a sense of purpose or joy, and it’s a big part of what keeps them going. Doing things we don’t really value – we either regret time wasted, or we don’t remember anyway.

The moments we’ll recall, and tell our grandchildern about, will be the ones that held some sort meaning in our life.

What have you learned from speaking to the elderly?

If you got this far, thanks for reading. I hope you gained something from it.